Inspired by the medieval tradition of the ethical will, Forever letters are heartfelt letters we write to the people who matter to us with the hope that, even if our letters aren’t kept forever, the wisdom and love that we share will be.
Inspired by the medieval tradition of the ethical will, Forever letters are heartfelt letters we write to the people who matter to us with the hope that, even if our letters aren’t kept forever, the wisdom and love that we share will be.
How The Forever Letter Came To Be
The Forever Letter was inspired by the medieval tradition of the ethical will where parents would write to their children to pass on their values. These parents wrote with a sense of urgency, on the off chance that this was their last opportunity to communicate their values. In Hebrew, ethical wills were originally known as tze-vah-oat, commandments, and some were even written in a commanding tone.
When I was 14, my father handed me an ethical will he had written to me and my siblings. It had a profound impact on me when I first read it, and it continues to impact me as the years move on. My father did not command his values; rather, he expressed his values and hopes. He even shared some of his weaknesses. What touched me most was his vulnerability. He was more vulnerable than I had ever known him to be.
For years I spoke, taught, and offered workshops on the topic of ethical wills before I realized I was actually in the process of creating a new kind of letter. A letter that we can write at any point in our lives to anyone we choose to communicate what matters to us most. One way to begin this letter is to ask ourselves the question: What do I most want to share about myself, the person I am writing to, and the relationship we share.
Over the years, I have seen unresolved hurt in friendships and in family relationships. I have seen loved ones torn apart, and some no longer remembering why. I have seen people so disconnected that they don’t know the hearts of the people closest to them. I have also seen people who are close, and connected, and appreciative of their mutual love and support. In all of these instances, I believe we can heal, uplift, and deepen our relationships through the writing of forever letters.
What Can You Write?
To Whom?
You can write to your grandparents, parents, children, grandchildren, siblings, other family members, friends, colleagues, teachers, students, mentors. You can write to anyone who matters to you.
When?
An incentive can be a milestone for either you or the recipient like: falling in love, marrying, becoming a parent, receiving a job offer, graduating, reaching a special birthday, retiring. Life’s critical junctures offer another opportunity: divorcing, getting laid off, receiving a life-threatening diagnosis, living through the death of a loved one. You can write anytime. You can write now.
How?
In The Forever Letter, you will find guidance on how to increase your chances of being heard, and exercises to help you mine the deep place within where your authentic material lies. You will be able to read some forever letters, find stories of how writing and receiving forever letters were transformative, and be inspired to write your own.
The Forever Letter™
Authentic connection with ourselves and with those we love.
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